Have you ever said Yes to something you ever wanted to say No to?
We believe that we always have to say yes to opportunities that come our way. We fear that saying no will lead us to miss out on new experiences, money and fun. However, saying yes is not always a good use of your time.
When you ask someone how they are 95% of the time they will answer with some version of “busy” whether it’s “It’s so hectic right now” or “I’ve been crazy busy” being busy has subsequently become a badge of honour. It implies we are important and in demand, but if you really are too busy all the time then you’re most likely not saying No enough.
We say yes in our personal lives all the time. When a friend asks us to go out while we still have other things to do, we say yes. When a family member asks for a favour that will cause obstruction to our day, we say yes.
Many of us struggle to say no because of the fear of rejection or the uncertainty of what the other person may think or say.
You would rather upset yourself than deal with the repercussions of saying No.
Did that sentence hit a nerve? If it did keep reading.
We can get so used to saying yes and pleasing others that we don’t even know what we want. If your life is tightly packed with other people’s requests that you don’t have the time for, it’s time to make a change.
Embrace the power of “No” so you can truly live out your full potential. Here is a list of things to say “No” to so that you can live a happier life!
1. People picking your brain constantly
I’m definitely pro-community and collaboration but when you make yourself too available, people are more likely to take advantage of you. Of course, you should help people and not be overly competitive, but this should be done in moderation.
Think about all the times you weren’t able to get on with any of your tasks because you kept helping other people with theirs. Make a conscious decision to make yourself a priority.
To help people out without having to sacrifice a lot of your time is to refer other people of value to the people who like to pick your brain over specific topics.
You can also see this as a business opportunity by getting paid for your knowledge. Whether it’s setting up a membership program or offering 1-1 services.
2. Getting upset over things you cannot control
There are things in life that are inevitably out of your control. It is your choice to dwell in the fact that you cannot control what is happening – whether it’s about the government, the economy, or even the weather. You have the power to control your state. If you’re upset, you have to power to take yourself out of that state even if you don’t feel like it.
This isn’t about giving up or faking it till you make it, it’s about knowing you’re going to get through whatever comes your way.
Giving in to worry or the illusion that you can control the outcome can only result in stress and is a waste of your valuable time.
Say “No” to the belief that you can be in complete control of everything in your life. Say “No” to the undue stress that comes from trying to change outcomes that are not up to you. You’ll definitely save yourself a lot of anguish.
3. Doing things that don’t get you to where you want to be
Before accepting opportunities that come your way ask yourself “is this going to put me a step further in becoming who I want to become?”
There are a lot of mentoring opportunities, career developments, collaboration opportunities and many more potential lists of activities and events to get involved with in your life.
Nonetheless, just because something may seem like a good idea to do it doesn’t mean that it is the right fit for your vision.
Avoid actions and events that are not aligned with your vision of yourself. Remember to leverage your time because you can’t make anymore. So, use it wisely!
Having trouble with your vision? Check out the FREE How To Live With Purpose mini-course
4. Allowing yourself to procrastinate
Procrastination is one of the hardest things to say “No” to. It’s easy to get caught up in the planning of something rather than the execution. Without execution, your idea will remain as an idea.
No amount of wishing, manifestation or praying is going to make your dreams fall in your lap.
Procrastination is the root of unachieved dreams. The sense that there’s enough time to get things done can be deceptive, it can be the difference between celebrated success and failed goals.
Procrastination is not only delaying tasks but by doing things that are not a priority on your list and not using your time productively by spending your energy and efforts on tasks that are neither making you progress on your goals or making you happy.
Strictly say “No” to distractions and time killers.
5. Negative self-talk
Negative self-talk has many forms and can affect us in some pretty damaging ways. It can sound grounded (“I don’t think I’ll be good at this so I should avoid doing it to protect my own safety”) or it can sound terrible (“No matter what I do, it’s never right”).
Negative self-talk is any inner dialogue you have with yourself that may be limiting your ability to believe in yourself and your abilities. Not only can negative self-talk distort how you see yourself, but it can also stunt your personal growth.
Ways on minimising self-talk:
👉 Stop the thoughts in its tracks
Be mindful when you’re thinking negative thoughts. Imagine a stop sign in your mind or verbally say “stop” to yourself and change your thought pattern to a positive one.
👉 Cross-examine what you’re saying to yourself
When you catch yourself talking negative, ask yourself “how true is this?”. The majority of negative self-talk is an exaggeration and calling yourself out on it can help take away the damaging influence.
👉 Stop expecting perfection
Nobody is perfect, so expecting perfection when you’re just starting out on a new project or thinking that you’re exempt from failure is only going to set you up for a definite fall. Flaws and failure are a part of life and once you move forward in spite of them you will become happier and more self-confident.
6. Burning yourself out
You’re no use to yourself or anybody else when you’re completely shattered. Being burnt out results in low productivity levels, poor work quality and crankiness. It just becomes one bad thing after another if you continue to ignore your mind and body when it screams for rest. There’s no benefit to working that much.
You usually end up getting burnt out by saying yes to extra work that you really don’t have time for. You should see breaks as a necessity not expendable time to do extra work.
Figure out how much you can say yes to on a daily and monthly basis and figure out how much time to set aside for breaks. (E.g. will you take a 15-minute break every 60 minutes or 90 minutes?) Say No without hesitation to any work that will interfere with your allotted break time.
Saying “Yes” as well as saying “No” to the right things is a skill that everyone has to master. Give yourself permission to say “No” without having to explain yourself.
You won’t be able to relive this life again so make the most of the time you’ve got now and spend it doing the things you love as well as helping others.
Well, this was my list of things to say “No” to for your to live a happier life. 🤗
I hope these ideas will inspire you to create your own list and start implementing it straight away.
What do you want to say “No” to for a happier and simpler life this year?
Pin this post for a reminder 📌 👇
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I really needed this encouragement today…thank you for this
You’re very welcome 🙂
Love this! Adding it to my Pinterest page for reference. I’m going to be saying no to doing things that don’t get me to where I want to be. Doing the right things over doing everything is key to getting noticed at work and feeling accomplished at home.
You hit the nail on the head with this one!
I feel called out…… in a good way!! I’m saving this for later so I can come back when I find myself falling back into bad habits
Haha I’m glad. Thank you Sam 🙂
Love the one about negative self talk! I started to say “no” or “stop” out loud when I start going down that negative path. It’s helped a lot and I do it with my anxious thoughts as well now which doesn’t fix the problem but lessens it for sure!
1000% agree! I do this method as well!
I agree with everything you’ve said here! I’ve got to cut the negative self talk out of my life.
Thank you! You’ve got this Victoria!