Intentional living

How to stop comparing yourself to others

May 8, 2022

There is one thing you will always be better at than anyone else in the world and that’s being YOU.

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Most of us understand that by comparing ourselves to others no good can come from it. Yet whether we’re comparing physical features, accomplishments or paychecks we still do it all the same. 🙃

Comparing yourself to others is one of the easiest ways to feel bad about yourself. It makes you feel jealous, inadequate and not important.

According to social comparison theory, we do this in an attempt to make an accurate evaluation of ourselves, but at what cost? 😮‍💨

Sometimes comparison can be more generic like wishing you were taller, but more often than not it’s about something the other person is capable of doing and wondering why you’re not achieving the same results as they are even though your stalk level is on 100. 😂

how to stop comparing yourself

Maybe Rachel has more subscribers on her YouTube channel than you and maybe Rebekah can afford to buy more of the latest fashion trends than you can. Comparison can sometimes be motivating but more than not it can be destructive.

There is one thing you will always be better at than anyone else in the world and that’s being YOU.

This is the only way you can truly win.

We are biologically programmed to put a greater emphasis on the negative (AKA Negative bias).

Therefore, comparing yourSELF to somebody else’s SELF (which is your overall “worth” as a human being – to others) will only end badly.

Now! let’s look at why you should stop comparing yourself to others and how you can live your best life. 💁‍♀️

Harnessing the power of comparison

In order to harness the power of comparison you need to be able to constrain the negatives and make use of the positives – such that it propels your forward rather than holding you back.

Well… how do I do that?

You can do this by not comparing yourself to others in counterproductive ways that open the door to negative thoughts.

If someone is where you want to be, whether it’s your career goal, business goal, monetary goal etc. You must look at what they’re doing with an honest eye, with the only goal of learning from the comparison and using what you learn to help raise your standards to be in a better standing of achieving your goals.

Comparing the uncut reality of your life to the highly edited version of someone else’s life is going to make anyone feel like crap. Who needs this? Definitely not you. 🙅‍♀️

Instead of being motivated, attending network events or making headway on a project, you’re in your room curled up under your blanket wondering why your life isn’t going as well as someone else’s.

The majority of the time it’s usually people we don’t even know! This creates an instant loss of momentum all because you allowed yourself to fall into this common trap of negative comparison.

How to stop comparing yourself

No one has a perfect life

Everyone experiences problems and challenges in their life. No one is exempt from this. Especially through social media, it’s easy to for people to pretend they lead an amazing life with no downsides – know that this isn’t true.

What people present to the outside world is usually an edited version of their reality. 🤷‍♀️

When someone asks you “How are you doing?” you’re unlikely to say “I’m about to lose my mind, my boyfriend is driving me absolutely crazy and I feel like a failure”. Instead you’d probably hold your tongue and say “everything’s fine, how are you?”

People are less likely to reveal their negative emotions than their positive emotions.

This could be for a number of reasons such as:

👉 You don’t want people to pry in your private life
👉 You don’t feel close enough to the person who’s asking you how you’re doing to give an honest answer
👉 You don’t want to burden the person with your problems
👉 You don’t think the person will understand your situation
👉 You feel ashamed of the situation that you’re in
👉 You don’t like asking for help

You’ll always lose

If comparing is how you value your worth, you will always lose, and I guarantee whoever is reading this is not a loser.

What makes life amazing and fascinating is learning from the hard work and talents of others. Instead of trying to be as good or better than others focus your energy on being the very best version of yourself.

Next time you catch yourself using someone else’s life as a benchmark of your own self-worth remind yourself of how ineffective and destructive this thought process is.

Instead redirect your energy and attention to your own goals and what is required to achieve them.

How to break the habit of comparing yourself to others


If you concentrate on what you don’t have you will never have enough. Whenever you find yourself looking at what people have, remind yourself of everything you should be grateful for in your life.

For me, that means appreciating the roof over my head, the clean running water I get to drink, my fabulous friends and family and many others.

There are so many things that you can be grateful for if you really sit down and think about it. So shift your focus from what you don’t have, to what you do have.

Mental Health Thank You GIF by Hello All

Be aware

Most of the time social comparisons are done without you even realising you’re doing it.

Make these thoughts conscious by bringing these thoughts to the forefront of your consciousness by being on the lookout for these types of thoughts.

Once you’ve trained your mind to be consciously aware of when you start negative social comparison allow yourself to “pause”.

Don’t allow yourself to feel bad, just acknowledge the thought and gently shift focus.

Focus on your own life’s journey

Life is a journey, not a competition. There’s no leader board of “Who has the best life”. We are all on a journey to live a life of purpose full of fulfillment, self-discipline and gratitude.

That journey has nothing to do with what other people are doing or what they have. What you have and where you want to go is all you need to worry about.

Head Nod Reaction GIF by ALLBLK (formerly known as UMC)

Compare yourself with you

If you need to compare yourself with someone, make that person be yourself.

How can you improve yourself? How can you be more loving towards other people? What can you do to make today better than yesterday?

Comparing your previous self with your current self can help how show you the growth you have made, and if you haven’t made any growth you are now consciously aware that changes need to be made. Allowing you to become a better version of yourself.

To summarise...

Avoid letting comparison breed envy, self-doubt and other negative energy into your life. Use the power of comparative thinking to your advantage and turn it into positive energy and critical thinking about the fulfillment of your own life and what you need to do to find and live your purpose in life.

I hope you enjoyed this post on how to stop comparing yourself to others!

Pin this post for a reminder 📌 👇

How to stop comparing yourself to others

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I'm Heather, your Success Coach

I believe that having an intentional daily routine is the cornerstone of living a fulfilling and purposeful life. Is it easy? Heck no. Is it worth it? Heck Yes.

My job is to help you stop playing small and reprogram your limiting beliefs so that you don’t waste your life away trying to fit into a box made for someone else.

In this corner of the internet, I share my best transformational secrets, mindset tools and productivity hacks to get you clear on your ideal life.

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